2004

First of all, I'd like to explain how the internationally renowned BMAs work.  Two awards are bestowed for each category.  One, for the true honoree, the second, for the best honoree of the Academy's five nominees.  That way, I can not only show how the Academy picks bad nominees, but also rub it in their faces that they can't even pick the best of their own five nominees.  Additionally, before we begin, I feel I must warn that I only did Best Picture and acting awards.  No directing, no screenwriting, no technical awards.  Sorry, I got tired.  Deal with it.  With that, on with the awards:

Best Picture: 

Closer
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Garden State
Hotel Rwanda
The Incredibles

The BMA goes to:  Garden State.  Duh.  Everyone who knows me knows this was my favorite movie last year.  It was also the best picture, head over heels above the rest of that crap, especially Million Dollar Baby. 

The Brandon Academy Award for Best Picture:

The Aviator
Finding Neverland
Million Dollar Baby
Ray
Sideways

And the BAA goes to:  Finding Neverland.  The Aviator and Finding Neverland were about on par, to me, but Finding Neverland means more to me.  It was too good.  So moving. 

Best Actor:

Jim Carrey--Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Don Cheadle--Hotel Rwanda
Jamie Foxx--Ray
Paul Giamatti--Sideways
Tom Hanks--The Terminal

The BMA goes to:  Jim Carrey--Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.  Now the thing about the five nominees above is that all were perfect performances.  Not that DiCaprio or Depp weren't, but I never once questioned these five. To me, they were all perfect.  With that, how did I pick one?  Well, Jamie Foxx has enough awards after this year, and, while he was incredibly convincing, I didn't really like his character as much as some of the others.  Not that I didn't like him (which I didn't), but I felt his character was not as three-dimensional as it could have been, though that fault should probably lie with the screenwriters and director.  Additionally, Tom Hanks is my favorite actor, and it was tough not to just give it to him, but Jim Carrey was too powerfully convincing in Eternal Sunshine.  I can't believe the Academy didn't at least nominate him.  Those bastards. 

Don Cheadle--Hotel Rwanda
Johnny Depp--Finding Neverland
Leonardo DiCaprio--The Aviator
Clint Eastwood--needs to die
Jamie Foxx--Ray

The BAA goes to:  Don Cheadle for Hotel Rwanda.  Actually, everyone in this category rocked, except for Clint, that is.  Jamie Foxx was amazing as Ray, it's undeniable, but overall, I felt Don Cheadle's character was more multi-dimensional, whereas Ray Charles was pretty much just a horrible human being.  Not that I think Foxx shouldn't have won his award--he definitely deserved it, but I would have liked to see Don Cheadle take home the gold.  Also, Foxx got to meet Ray Charles and talk to him--Depp most certainly didn't get to study with JM Barrie, and I don't think the others met their portrayees either, but I could be wrong. 

Best Actress:

Uma Thurman--Kill Bill, Vol. 2
Kate Winslet--Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

And the BMA goes to:  Kate Winslet--Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.  She is one of my favorite actresses and stole the entire movie.  She even stole Oscar night, looking great in that dress.  Now, Uma Thurman was incredible as the Bride, and she probably would have at least been nominated if Kill Bill were one long epic, instead of two, if very distinct, halves.  Other than them, I can't think of a leading actress that should merit a nomination.  No wonder Hilary Swank won.  There was no one else to vote for, especially since the Academy forgot that Eternal Sunshine was incredible.  Also, Natalie Portman's two roles this year, and Kate Winslet's other one don't qualify as leading, to me.  Julia Roberts was as supporting as the other cast members, so she shouldn't be up for this either.  The point is, I could only come up with two performances that even merited a nomination--this was definitely a guy's year for movies. 

Annette Bening--Being Julia
Catalina Sandino Moreno--Maria Full of Grace
Imelda Staunton--Vera Drake
Hilary Swank--is a man
Kate Winslet--Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

And the BAA goes to:  Kate Winslet for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.  Without a doubt, the best female performance of the year, and I've been rooting for her since last February.  Granted, I've only seen two of the five performances, but I can sure as hell say that Kate Winslet was better than Hilary Swank.

Best Supporting Actor:

Alan Alda--The Aviator
David Carradine--Kill Bill, Vol. 2
Ian Holm--Garden State
Clive Owen--Closer
Alan Rickman--Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

And the BMA goes to:  Clive Owen--Closer.  As you can see, I easily found my four favorite supporting performances of the year, but the fifth eluded me for a while.  And then, I couldn't decide whether to go with Peter Sarsgaard, Gary Oldman, James Franco, Liev Schreiber, or Alan Rickman.  I eventually decided on Alan Rickman because his character is so fascinating, and at the end of the movie, you still don't know whether or not to trust him.  Also, Ian Holm made it in here based on the deleted scene in the Garden State DVD.  It was so incredibly moving, that he definitely merited a nomination.  However, the greatest supporting actor was also nominated by the Academy, and that is because Clive Owen deserved it.  At least he won the golden globe. 

Alan Alda--The Aviator
Thomas Haden Church--Sideways
Jamie Foxx--Collateral
Morgan Freeman--Million Dollar Baby
Clive Owen--Closer

And the BAA goes to:  No surprise here.  Clive Owen--Closer.  Clive Owen was simply amazing in this role, and the best part is that it makes you think.  You have to wonder whether he's justified, or if he ever steps over the line.  You love him and you hate him, and that's just awesome.  With Morgan Freeman, you're supposed to like him and feel a little sorry for him, and you do.  Nothing really challenging.  Also, I feel like Eastwood took advantage of our overwhelming love of Shawshank Redemption to make people fall in love with Freeman's character.  Now, Alan Alda was the true second place, as he was so awesome as Senator Brewster. 

Best Supporting Actress:

Cate Blanchett--The Aviator
Natalie Portman--Closer
Natalie Portman--Garden State
Meryl Streep--The Manchurian Candidate
Kate Winslet--Finding Neverland

And the BMA goes to:  Natalie Portman--Garden State.  Now, I first must discuss the nominees.  Laura Linney was immediately cut, because I haven't seen Kinsey.  Now, Virginia Madsen and Sophie Okonedo were both very amazing, but I felt Natalie Portman and Meryl Streep gave even better performances.  Therefore, though they were a close sixth and seventh, they did not make the cut.  Now, Natalie Portman totally stole Garden State, and is the reason I fell in love with it.  You can't help but love Sam.  And therefore, she takes the gold, even though she wasn't even nominated for this by the Academy. 

Cate Blanchett--The Aviator
Laura Linney--Kinsey
Virginia Madsen--Sideways
Sophie Okonedo--Hotel Rwanda
Natalie Portman--Closer

The BAA goes to:  Natalie Portman--Closer.  I absolutely loved Cate Blanchett's performance.  I thought it was perfect.  I also thought Natalie Portman was perfect.  But I wanted Portman to win in the end.  That's that. 

Best Ensemble: 

Closer
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Garden State
Hotel Rwanda
Kill Bill, Vol. 2

The BMA goes to: Garden State.  It was originally Closer, but...when you factor in Kenny the Cop alone, much less "It has a sharpener!" girl and Klingon-speaking Tim and Jean Smart and "Do you have dreams?  I know I do!" guy and IAN F-ING HOLM, you just can't beat that entire cast. 

Best Poster:

Friday Night Lights
Garden State
Kill Bill, Vol. 2
Ray
Spiderman 2

And the BMA goes to:  Friday Night Lights!  Ray is probably my second choice, but I had a ton of nominees for this one, so all truly deserve the honor.  Special attention should also be paid to the Prisoner of Azkaban "Have You Seen This Wizard?" poster and the Eternal Sunshine "Would You Erase Me?" poster campaign. 

Best Foreign-Language Film: 

Downfall

The BMA goes to: Downfall

Overlooked Prize: 

The Machinist
Mean Creek

The BMA goes to:   Mean Creek.  

Brandon A. Nowalk Award for Creativity:   

The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind takes its title from a beautiful Romantic poem.  It's story is mostly about Joel falling in and out of love with Clementine, and subsequently erasing his memory.  Which would be great in itself, but Michel Gondry takes a page out of Christopher Nolan's book and manipulates the narrative structure at will since the story is about a character's memory problems.  I loved the idea the first time I saw it, and I love it more each time I watch it.  There's so much to love, in fact.  Just watch the Barnes and Noble scene and there will be no question of Gondry's deserving of this award. 

Best Documentary:

Without a doubt, the BMA goes to the 2004 video, documenting the craziness of a group of friends from Friendswood, TX.   And that's all that matters, so I'm not even going to give a BAA for this category. 

Now, on to the BMA Losers.  These go to, not the worst people in show business, but pretty much whoever I feel sucks enough to merit one.  And now, on to the Brandon Movie Award Losers of 2004:

Clint Eastwood--for convincing the world that Million Dollar Baby was a good movie, for starring in his own pretentious piece of crap (notice I didn't say "acting"), and for stealing two Oscars from Martin Scorsese
Chris Rock--for seriously hosting the most boring Oscar ceremony in recent history (and now I've seen ten of them)
Hilary Swank--for convincing the world that she gave a good performance and for stealing an Oscar from Kate Winslet, who actually is a girl.  Bitch. 

And lastly, we have the BMA Shout Outs.  These go to pretty much whoever I feel rocked, but wasn't honored in another way.  There are an unlimited number of BMA Shout Outs per year, however, the number usually floats around five.  Without further ado, the Brandon Movie Award Shout Outs for 2004:

Zach Braff--Newcomer Award--writing, directing, and starring in Garden State
Edna--The Incredibles
Tina Fey--Mean Girls
James Franco--Spiderman 2
Freddie Highmore--the cutest little kid ever--Finding Neverland
Gary Oldman--Sirius Black--Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Michael Weston--Kenny the Cop--Garden State

For a quick recap, and because it's fun, here's how the movies did nomination-wise (not including the Academy nominations).

Including shout-outs, Garden State led with 5 nominations, Eternal Sunshine and Closer both followed with 3, The Aviator, Hotel Rwanda, Kill Bill, Vol. 2, Harry Potter, and the Incredibles garnered two nominations, and the rest each had only one.  Million Dollar Baby ended up with negative three. 

But who took home the gold?

Garden State went home with 2 BMAs, Eternal Sunshine matched it with its 2 BMAs, and Closer earned one BMA.  Clint Eastwood was asked not to come back next year.  And we pumped Hilary Swank full of even more testosterone.  Good times.

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