#20. Toby Flenderson
The Office |
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Toby is probably
the most solid performer on the Office, especially surprising given Paul
Lieberstein is a writer and only started acting on this show. But
his deadpan is consistently hilarious, whether being pathetic or showing
that sarcastic streak. And his love for Pam can only further his
sadness, although it is so entertaining to watch the little moments that
comprise their non-relationship. I also love how Toby can evoke
Michael's ire by his mere presence, but on certain occasions (Booze
Cruise), Toby uses it to his advantage.
"Actually, I didn't think it was appropriate
to invite children, since, uh, you know, there's gambling and alcohol,
and it's in our dangerous warehouse, and it's a school night, and, you
know, Hooters is catering, is that enough? Should I keep going?"
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#19. Elaine Benes
Seinfeld |
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Elaine strikes me
as the meanest of the Seinfeld crew for some reason (probably what she
does to George during the nipple-slip Christmas card fiasco), but
regardless she's my favorite. I love everything from "Get out!" to
the thumbs and the little kicks. And don't forget the urban
sombrero or her English Patient outburst, which pretty much doubled my
love for her. Because the English Patient sucks, and so do
pretentious art-film lovers. And in case you need refreshing,
Elaine also worked for Mr. Pitt, dated Puddy, hated Sue-Ellen Mishke,
and went to Burma to visit J. Peterman. Oh, and my favorite
Seinfeld ending: the freeze-frame of Elaine and Mr. Costanza about
to fight.
"I know this sounds crazy, but the two men
who are standing behind me are going to give me 50 bucks if I stand here
and eat one of your eggrolls. I'll give you 25 if you let me do
it." |
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#18. Dr. Julian Bashir
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Star Trek: The Next Generation |
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Dr. Bashir was my
favorite from the beginning, but his story only got more and more
awesome as time went on. At first, he's just the hot young doctor
in love with the girl and BFFs with the Chief, but his relationship with
tailor/spy Garak became a huge story mine. And then to find out
over halfway through the series that he's been genetically engineered,
just after the best 2-parter of the series (to that point) during which
time Bashir, Garak, and Worf were all taken hostage on a remote
asteroid, was astounding. And in the end, Bashir and the Chief got
one last hurrah, Bashir and the new girl got one last hurrah in bed, and
Alexander Siddig married a castmate and got himself cast in Vertical
Limit and Syriana.
"He's still dead, if that's what you mean." |
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#17. Claire Fisher
Six Feet Under |
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Claire Fisher is
not only my favorite Fisher (which is saying something given the
lineage) but someone I wish I knew. As much as I hate Eric
Balfour, I was so into that storyline in the early seasons because
Lauren Ambrose is such an incredible actress. And as the finale
made clear, the story is ultimately hers, especially once everyone else
is dead and gone. And even though I wish she'd treat her mother
better sometimes, I love her general cynicism for everything and
everyone. The episode I keep going back to in my mind is the
dinner party episode where Claire's high, they listen to
Transatlanticism, and I think that's the one that has Claire's
disgusting pants she made for Ruth.
"Support our troops? What a bunch of
bullshit! Why don't you try driving something that doesn't require
so much gas for starters, if you're so fucking concerned!" |
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#16. Jon Stewart
The Daily Show |
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The Daily Show with
Jon Stewart (along with its spinoff The Colbert Report) is the most
important show on TV, and it's become a phenomenon due largely to
Jon Stewart. He's intelligent, often quite biting with his satire,
and always a good host, asking tough questions but lightening the mood
and humbly accepting applause from what he knows is a home audience.
I love how this seems to be the only show on television that has come up
with the idea of comparing past video to current video in order to
reveal hypocrisy, hilarity, or just plain deceit. And lastly,
Stewart's first show after September 11th proved that everyone's
favorite host is first and foremost an incredibly decent human being.
"Moms and dads, if you're watching right
now, I can't emphasize this enough: don't let your kids go hunting
with the Vice President." |
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#15.
Mel
Flight of the Conchords |
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Mel is Flight of
the Conchords' number one fan--partly because she's their only fan.
But even if there were other fans, she'd still be number one, showing up
to every performance, buying as much memorabilia as possible and
generally stalking the Conchords. Despite her blatant sexual
attraction to both Bret and Jemaine, she drags her husband around when
she needs him (say, for driving while she sits in the back seat with
both the guys), and she ditches him if it helps give her some alone time
with the Conchords. But the best thing she's ever done was appear
as Arwen in their LOTR music video, cementing her as my favorite on the
show.
"Just 'cause I'm married to Doug doesn't
mean I can't be here for you."
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#14. Captain Proton
Star Trek: Voyager |
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Captain Proton is
the holodeck character played by Lt. Tom Paris starting in the Season 5
premiere and continuing till the end. Captain Proton, galactic
hero who uncannily resembles the Rocketeer, is a throwback to the
old sci-fi serials of the 1930s (Paris was a 20th century buff), and
features everything you'd expect: boxy robots, big levers, pistols
that shoot laser beams, jet packs, and more melodrama than you can
handle. I love everything about the Captain Proton program, which
also features sidekick Buster Kincaid, secretary Constance Goodheart,
Satan's Robot, the President of Earth, and the enemies: Dr.
Chaotica and Queen Arachnia, many of whom ought to end up in the
Brantheon soon enough.
"Activate the Destructo Beam!" |
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#13. Dr. Elliot Reid
Scrubs |
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Ever since about
Season 4, Elliot has been my favorite character on Scrubs, mostly
because of her hilarious stories, quirks, and neuroses. I
particularly like her "all quiet on the crapper" rule and her immediate
reaction to "eyebrows." And camel-butt, of course. Mostly I
love that Elliot has been picked as the crazy one so she gets to do the
craziest things, usually involving some cleavage or at least bra
visibility. And she speaks both French and German (after my
heart), is a roller-blading goddess, and loves to do stunts.
"I lived with the Babcocks for two years.
They didn't have a lot of rules, though. They were really old and
thought I was a ghost."
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#12. Bear Grylls
Man vs. Wild |
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Bear Grylls on Man
vs. Wild is either my first or third "real" character included, but
either way, he represents the official opening of the Brantheon to real
people who are on television. As badass extraordinaire (he's a
British adventurer for cryin' out loud!) for the Discovery
Channel, Bear has essentially left Survivorman in the dust, drinking
urine, eating zebras, and trapping fish more times than I can remember.
And the episodes are both educational and incredibly exciting--you know,
sexually. Bear Grylls is the man I intend to marry, so obviously
he's my first, well, twelfth entry in the Brantheon (which is kind of
symbolic, I guess, given the Greek pantheon only has 12 members...it's a
stretch, I know).
"You'll survive longer naked." Yes,
Bear, yes you will. |
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#11. Nancy Botwin
Weeds |
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Nancy Botwin is a
fascinating character made even more powerful by the perfection of
Mary-Louise Parker's performance. Her husband (who will some day
make the Brantheon based on like 5 minutes of screen time, that's how
awesome he is) died, leaving Nancy with no choice but to take up
drug-dealing to support her family. At least, that's how she
rationalizes, even though she's rarely actually supporting her family
during the series. Nevertheless, she is alternately assertive and
compassionate whenever she needs to be, at least when she's not breaking
down mentally--which is over half the time--and she is almost
singlehandedly responsible for raising Weeds from a good show to a great
one.
"I don't give a flying fuck if you do have
cancer. Put your tits away in front of my kid." |
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