BN:  The Brandon Network

White Noise Archives 1

9-12-07

Chapter 10 in which Tommy Gavin unfortunately didn't die 

Well Rescue Me Season 4 is over.  You're not the only one who didn't notice or care.  I've told some this, but I am hoping it gets cancelled so I don't have to keep watching.  Okay, it wasn't quite The OC Season 3 bad, but it was close, and I'm not joking.  I am enjoying The Hills more at the moment.  As a warning, I cannot discuss why exactly this show went so badly off course without spoilers for those who don't watch it (presumably everyone I know), so unless you're okay with that, I'd move on.  Well I've made no secret of my view that Season 3 was on par with the rest of the series until the finale solved everyone's problems magically (and by that I mean the solutions came from nowhere within the story--just look at Mike's desire to leave the crew).  Season 4 took that note and sustained it, providing a series of loosely related scenes that ultimately made up what they're calling a season.  Season 4 was so disjointed that I honestly had no idea if I missed something or if they just hadn't set up anything for the duration of the last 7 episodes.  It turns out, I'm not alone, and in fact, when random plot lines showed up (the double shifts, Tommy playing firefighter while off-duty, the baby in every episode except for the potential drowning "cliffhanger"), it was jarring because the writers had not, in fact, introduced us to them.  Worse still, when crazy things happened to characters and stories we were introduced to (Jerry's suicide, Mike's house burning down, Black Sean's introduction, or the opening arc of the insurance money), they had no consequences on anything or anyone and were never heard from again.  Just like the Season 3 finale.  But what really upsets me about the show is that each episode had fantastic moments, and I maintain that the first few episodes were great overall.  But it's those moments of greatness amidst the sea of crappy that has made me lose faith in Rescue Me.  It doesn't help that Jack McGee claims Leary handled his character's exit in a very petty way, or that Leary writes his character into self-congratulatory scenes with hotties like Gina Gershon, Jennifer Esposito, Callie Thorne, or Andrea Roth.  And it certainly doesn't help that this season was focused so closely on Tommy and the randoms that there was no good time left for the other firefighters, Janet, or Sheila--aside from the terrific scene of Tommy, yet again displaying his (at this point self-congratulatory) annoying heroic streak, saving Mike from himself.  I kept hoping the finale would be so spectacular that it would either 1) put the rest of the season into perspective or 2) overshadow the rest of the season, and the only ways I figured that would happen would be if Tommy himself died or if the entire crew died.  Unfortunately, neither happened, and instead, one of my favorite characters (on a show of many--Lou, Sean, and Maggie are my faves right now), Tommy's father, passed away quietly.  I can't not watch the show, because it could just as easily turn around into one of the best shows on television like it should be, but Season 4 was not a great way to inspire confidence. 

8-30-07

Chapter 9 in which clear eyes and full hearts represent an unbeatable combination

As I have stated elsewhere, I am celebrating the birthdays of Steph and Veronica by watching my DVD of Friday Night Lights.  First of all, I have to mention the marketing for this baby.  It's $20 everywhere (not SRP, but with store markdowns, that is), and even better, NBC is offering a guarantee that if you don't like it, you'll get your money back.  That sure won't be a problem here, however, seeing as how the very cover of the box set sends endorphins shooting to my brain.  It comes with only two very large features, but at least we get that.  The first is a fairly long making of that features plenty of time given to each of the cast members as well as all the major players involved in production.  The second is a fount of deleted scenes worthy of Peter Jackson.  I haven't gotten around to watching everything yet, but what I have seen has been incredible.  Disjointed thoughts to follow.  First, either Kyle Chandler actually speaks exactly like Coach Taylor (same accent, speech patterns, diction) or he is so method it hurts.  Meanwhile, Zach Gilford, Gaius Charles and Scott Porter speak like good California boys, accent- and stutter-free.  And might I mention how hot Zach Gilford is in real life (aka outside of the character of Matt Saracen, not that Matt isn't hot himself).  Second, that "Devil Town" cover was also played at the ending of the second episode, right as they prepare to go into their second game.  I was overwhelmed with glee upon hearing the opening chords.  Third, Coach Mack McGill is all over recruiting Voodoo despite his latent racism.  Curious.  Also, I am in love with every member of the cast right down to Minka Kelly, who I think was underrated by most.  But watch her in episodes 2 and 3 as she refuses to open her eyes to the permanence of Jason's disability--she is so good there.  Also, there are so many little scenes I forgot about, like Mrs. Street inviting Riggins to their Tuesday Night Dinners even though Jason's in the hospital, and Matt seeing Mrs. Coach about dropping pre-cal for morning practice.  Also a brief scene where some town idiot tells Coach Taylor he'll never have a state ring.  Well I've seen the finale, and he can suck it.  Finally, Buddy Garrity (well, the actor, to be accurate) played high school football in Texas Stadium, and I don't know why but I think that is awesome.  Buddy Garrity's pretty awesome anyway, but this bit of trivia really makes me appreciate his character even more. 

8-26-07

Chapter 8 in which John Hurt plays another mutant to perfection

The final installment of Masters of Science Fiction, or at least its inaugural season, was to my mind its best and the one episode I would recommend to interested viewers.  While I enjoyed the others, this one was more on par with the quality this show should have, although I still suggest cutting the episode lengths in half for the future.  The finale was written by Harlan Ellison, acclaimed sci-fi author, and it showed.  It sounded like a story more than a television episode, and while that can distract, in this case it was beautiful.  Credit lies with insanely perfect actor John Hurt, carrying the bulk of the dialogue as long-winded sidekick to the captain of a ship of mutants.  I won't get into details, but the basic plot is that some genetic mutation virus got out and its victims were placed in isolation on ships orbiting the Earth until a cure can be found.  Hilarity ensues (not really).  But I can't overstate John Hurt's performance, and I wish it were possible for him to get some recognition out of his stint here.  It strikes me only now that Hurt was a loaded casting, as similar themes are mined here as in his best-known work, The Elephant Man.  Additionally, Jonathan Frakes directed the episode, and the direction was the first thing I noticed as being particularly stylistic, and by the end, I was in love.  Frakes, for the unaware, plays Commander Riker on Star Trek: TNG, and  he has directed several episodes and films since then (in addition to lending his voice to Gargoyles).  Overall, the series lacked the wonder of The Twilight Zone, and despite the pedigree of the acclaimed cast members, writers, and directors, I found many of the shows to be ultimately mediocre.  However, this finale gives me great hope for the series, and if ABC decides to renew it (what harm could there be, really, especially since ABC has no real summer shows anyway), I'll certainly be there.  Especially if John Hurt returns. 

8-22-07

Chapter 7 in which boys will be boys

Allow me to throw in with the critics who find AMC's Mad Men the best new show of the summer.  Set in 1960, the show begins by explaining the title, a term used to reference the advertising greats of Madison Avenue...a term coined by themselves.  If you're thinking Mantropolis, you hit the nail on the head.  These guys are charming, egotistical chauvinists, even the good ones.  Our main character is middle-management Creative Executive Don Draper, and he is so awesome, and by awesome, I mean attractive.  But it's all part of the advertising machine.  While we follow the story of these guys, we also get the parallel stories of the women in their world, from wives to girlfriends to mistresses to Draper's new fish-out-of-water secretary.  And while the acting is excellent across the board, I hadn't heard of any of the men prior to the show, but two of the main three women are played by January Jones (Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada) and Christina Hendricks (Saffron from Firefly), who is particularly awesome, and by awesome I mean busty.  This is important because every interaction between any man (including the closeted gay one) and any woman is rooted in sex and the assertion of male dominance, both of which are generally accepted by the women of the time.  Above all, the show is oozing with setting, from the initial onslaught of period references to the fact that Draper is considering working on the Nixon campaign, and the fact that psychiatry and television are just now becoming popular.  Mostly you'll know when it's set by the haze of smoke you have to peer through in order to watch the scenes, for everyone smokes, all the time, in every circumstance, including doctors.  The show was created by Matthew Weiner, executive producer of The Sopranos, and it shows.  I honestly find the show better than anything on HBO right now (and for these purposes, we'll include Curb and John from Cincinnati), and the very opening scene reminds me of that of The Wire, with just a little conversation between two very different people--in this case Draper and a black waiter.   Another HBO-like feature: episodes are 48 minutes long on average, so I guess AMC shows fewer commercials than other networks, yet it still produces award-winning and otherwise quality original programming.  I highly recommend checking out Mad Men, if for no other reason than to boost it's mild ratings, but I can't imagine you won't immediately fall for its charms.

8-21-07

Chapter 6 in which Californication is still an inane title that has no bearing on the show it represents

I hope devoting an entry to a show I dislike doesn't become a habit, but I had to weigh in on Californication after watching the second episode.  As it seems many critics enjoy the show, I went into it with an open mind thinking they had already seen this episode, maybe, and possibly their admiration comes from enjoyment of installments beyond the pilot.  Well it turns out, my initial assessment was correct, as Californication continues to focus on building up phenomenal writer, insane mesmerizer of women, and generic bad boy Hank Moody.  I shall attack each of those fronts as follows:  First, I am so sick of hearing how great his book was.  Even better, we got an example of his writing, though in blog form, and it's pretty cliché.  Since you hopefully haven't seen it, let me fill you in:  he writes three sentences or so, the first of which is "HelL.A. Magazine, I fucking hate you all."  That first part is the magazine he's now blogging for, and the second part is because he's a bad boy.  Get it?  He follows this up by saying he'll probably go down on your sister, and if he does, he wants to see "pubis."  In case you missed it, he'll sleep with all women, and he's a bad boy (read: bad writer).  But it leads into his second reputation, his Casanovalike ability to attract women by doing nothing more than sitting in his convertible (what a rebel!) talking to himself.  I don't have a problem with this in general--Entourage for instance has women hooking up with Vince nearly every episode--but David Duchovny would so not be that attractive to all these hot California types he hooks up with.  Teenagers even, who could score a lot hotter and younger guys.  And I have zero qualms with the statutory issues, because I usually enjoy button-pushing on television.  I'm also not speaking just physically, because Duchovny's done all right with himself, but like I said, he doesn't do anything more than stand there when he meets his women.  And lastly, he's a bad boy, and while this has been covered fairly adequately already in this paragraph, I feel the need to expound.  The show's general problem, from where I sit, and I have sat through a lot of television, is that it tries way too hard.  It's almost Bruckheimeresque in its inability to achieve subtlety.  Everything it does is to convince us that Hank is awesome at writing and wooing, and because he's a badass, it's like one of those flaws that's not really a flaw.  Except, I'm watching, and it is, because it isn't handled well at all.  The show tries to make Hank a Mary Sue, but it doesn't work, because I have a brain, standards, and experience with watching characters on screen.  Overall, I don't hate the show, though I will never watch it again, unless by some miracle it turns around, but after watching the second episode, it just proved all my misgivings about the pilot to be well-founded.   

8-19-07

Chapter 5 in which hoopleheads and cocksuckers ride into the sunset

With the recent passing of David Milch's John From Cincinnati, I find it an appropriate time to remember his masterpiece Deadwood.  It helps that I, not an hour ago, finished the final season of this Shakespearean saga, and Shakespearean is certainly the best word to describe this series that died young.  Just as the Bard invented a language (through a combination of making up words, flowering up his dialogue, and generally refining what passed for English), the conversations of Deadwood are replete with long outdated period vocabulary, complex structures, and more often than not, eighteen sentences crammed into one.  It's near impossible to watch an episode all the way through and understand every single thing, but seeing it written helps immensely.  Moreover, Milch's setting includes the main cast for the tragedy along with a slew of supporting players to give us some intermittent groundling humor.  Milch even found several ways for characters to deliver the most beautiful soliloquies you will likely ever see on television, from speaking to a severed Indian head, talking to a pet, or plain old talking to oneself.  Upon its cancellation, Milch claimed he had a five year vision for Deadwood, and the third season makes this especially clear.  Our heroes have just lost the war, but the point is that they fought (the good ones anyway, and Cy Tolliver most certainly does not fit that description).  As much as I hated Hearst, I believe the final season is my favorite, and the finale adequately concludes that chapter and simultaneously sets up an exciting future.  We had been introduced to Wyatt and Morgan Earp with no follow-up, and while Brian Cox's Jack Langrishe became my favorite new character (among the many great new faces Season 3 brought us), we have been given only hints as to his theater troupe's storyline in Deadwood.  Likely our questions as to the final fates of the enormous cast (even in Season 1, audiences had to keep track of the motivations of and relationships among approximately 20 characters, and each new season has brought even more to the fray) will go unanswered, but even still, Deadwood can join the ranks of the many brilliant shows that have been cancelled before their time (Firefly, Arrested Development) with the satisfaction of a brilliant and exciting series finale that only intended to wrap up the season.  

8-17-07

Chapter 4 in which Romeo and Juliet consummate their tween love on the Disney channel

Of course, by Romeo and Juliet, I was referring to the love story of our time, that of Troy and Gabriela in High School Musical, and by consummate their love, I meant they kiss a few times.  Hey, it's better than nothing.  This time around looks a lot like last time, except it takes place at a country club where Sharpay and Ryan attend while the other characters staff it.  If this doesn't scream Saved by the Bell's summer series, then you did not spend enough time watching TBS in the mornings during the '90s.  Anybird, the hero this time is surprisingly Ryan, and he is surprisingly awesome.  Meanwhile, Chad dates the (hushed whisper) black girl who has fewer lines than last time and essentially no role other than Greek chorus of pointing out things the others would rather avoid.  The relationships change as Sharpay has her eyes and heart set on Troy, while Gabriela becomes Ryan's fag-hag.  It's subtext, people.  I found the show overall to be quite entertaining, but slightly worse than the original, because of the time taken between songs.  I seem to remember pretty good song pacing last time, but this time we get a few songs, then it's a dry spell until the run-up to the talent show.  The songs themselves are amazingly catchy, and after one viewing I already have some lyrics in my head.  The ending turns out how you'd expect, with the final Troy/Gabriela number, the lovers quickly inviting the rest of the cast, including Sharpay who has spent the rest of the movie being a colossal (fabulous) bitch, followed by the grand finale.  The ending is no "We're All in This Together," but it's good fun nonetheless.  I can't wait to see what happens on High School Musical 3, already in the works, but more importantly, can Romeo and Juliet survive College Musical without losing much of their fanbase, or should HSM 3 go ahead and end it Shakespeare-like with the double-suicide of Troy and Gabriela after dispensing with Sharpay in a duel and revealing Chad's glorious "a plague on both your houses" diatribe? 

8-16-07

Chapter 3 in which comedy dies

It has long been asserted that the traditional sitcom is dead, the television landscape yielding fewer and fewer slots to even non-traditional comedies these days.  But tonight, yet another nail was put in comedy's coffin as Rupert Murdoch simultaneously mixed metaphors and dug the grave of Fox News' inspired brilliance, cancelling The 1/2 Hour News Hour.  Hosted by Kurt McNally and Jennifer Lange (which I didn't even have to look up, as I can hear their voices in my head), who are in turn played by Curt Long and Jennifer Mcbitcherson, The 1/2 Hour News Hour was a half hour of solid half-entertainment every Sunday night.  Keeping with our theme, I've seen probably half of the episodes, and let me tell you, for the sake of Dennis Miller's thriving bank account, I certainly hope this show sells well with its inevitable DVD set.  I imagine the show was too funny for the stodgy network execs, but no matter.  Comedy's for liberals anyway.  Fox News' air time is much better spent with Greta van Susteren taking on some seemingly random case and hoisting it above all other similar scenarios, much like the Bush administration devoting their attention to disarming Iraq while a host of neighbors with WMD whistle nonchalantly and look the other way.  Greta's 8 years on the Natalee Holloway case have done the world of journalism, not to mention Aruba's tourism industry, a tremendous service.  But we all know Fox News already has a juggernaut of a lineup with B.O. and Hannity and his mirror.  What I'm going to miss most about my Sunday nights is the dearth of Ann Coulter guest appearances, or Rush Limbaugh, or "television's" Lorenzo Lamas, whoever he is.  Seriously, was he the biggest Hollywood conservative that would do the show?  Anyway, I guess whenever I'm feeling the pangs of loss, all I really have to do is watch clips on youtube of Ed Begley and his electric car (Environmentalists!) or Ann Coulter calling John Edwards a faggot (Homos!).  Hilarious!  In all seriousness, I found The 1/2 Hour News Hour a hilarious way to spend a half hour each week, and I, for one, will miss the show.  Please join me for a moment of silence--I mean one last Our Father to mourn the passing of television's greatest comedy show.  

8-15-07

Chapter 2 in which science-fiction further entrenches itself in network primetime

ABC is airing a new series on Saturday nights called Masters of Science Fiction.  It's like Showtime's Masters of Horror, an anthology series where a different writer/director comes in to each episode to direct a horror story, except, obviously, this one is about science-fiction.  So it's a lot like The Twilight Zone, which I love.  I've seen the first two installments, and I am really enjoying it.  It's not quite as good as I'd like it to be, but the shows are adaptations of Harlan Ellison and Arthur Clarke, and it's presented by Stephen Hawking, so it's not crap either.  It has some great ideas, cool twists, and a very literary perspective on themes (most are based on sci-fi short stories).  I would prefer a half-hour show, because I think that would force them to trim the fat and get to the heart of some good sci-fi, but as it is, it remains a worthwhile show that is only airing four episodes total for now.  The first one starred Judy Davis and Sam Waterston, who were great, and the second featured Terry O'Quinn, which was a treat.  I can only imagine what awaits me in the final two installments for "season" one, and if we're extremely lucky, seasons beyond.   

8-13-07

Chapter 1 in which John takes a permanent leave of absence to Cincinnati

John From Cincinnati, whose finale aired yesterday, has today been apparently cancelled.  No official word yet from HBO, but nobody in Hollywood can keep a secret (Tom Cruise = flamer).  I found the show delightfully weird and constantly interesting, so I'm not surprised at the mainstream press' mild approval to extreme loathing of it.  It was abstract, gave no answers, and fought against traditional narrative structure, all of which I applaud.  I mean Lost is weird and rarely delivers answers, but this show had 10 episodes, not three seasons, so I can take a bit more in the way of avoiding answers.  Plus, I always felt confident I'd find out something soon, and by Episode 6, things start to make sense as everyone comes together.  By the finale, you really understand what season 1 was about, at least on the surface, because I still have no idea what any of it meant.  But it was great to get some translations of some things John said to real-world English, because it was such an "OH!" moment and proved that the show knows what it's doing.  Plus it was a reminder to pay attention to the rest of his ramblings, but alas, now we'll never get to see what master showrunner David Milch had planned for us.  Don't be surprised to see Brian Van Holt (Butchie) up for a BTA, or Bruce Greenwood (Mitch) either for that matter.  The two best possible results of John's permanent hiatus are 1) finding out from Milch what it all meant and 2) HBO coming through on its promise to deliver two Deadwood movies to wrap up the show Milch had planned for two more years, or better yet, to renew the show if possible.  Sadly, I doubt either result will occur, and thus, John's death becomes a triple-whammy.  The good news is the days of Sopranos, Wire, Six Feet Under, Deadwood, and Carnivale are long gone, and the new HBO is represented by Big Love, John From Cincinnati, and Flight of the Conchords, all solid shows, but none icons of entertainment like the previous era in HBO programming.  As far as I'm concerned, they deserve no better.