As Good as It Gets

A comedy from the heart that goes for the throat.

"If there's a mental health organization that raises money for people like you, be sure to let me know."
"Last word freak."

    --  Frank Sachs and Melvin
 

"When you first entered the restaurant, I thought you were handsome... and then, of course, you spoke."

    --  Carol
 

"How can you diagnose someone with an obsessive compulsive disorder, then act like I have some choice about barging in here?"

    --  Melvin

"This is New York, pal. If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere!"

    --  Melvin
 

"How do you write women so well?"
"Easy. I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability."

    --  Receptionist and Melvin
 

"Well, it's not right to go into details, but I said the wrong thing. Whereas if I hadn't, I could be in bed right now with a woman who, if you make her laugh, you got a life. Instead I'm here with you - no offense, but a moron pushing the last legal drug."

    --  Melvin
 

"I'm dying here."
"Because you love her."
"No! And you people are supposed to be sensitive and sharp?"

    --  Simon and Melvin
 

"Anyway, here goes: I've got this, what, ailment. Now, my doctor, this shrink I used to go to all the time, says that in fifty to sixty percent of cases, a pill really helps. I HATE pills, hate them. I'm using the word "hate" about pills. Anyway, my compliment to you is the night after you came over and said that you would never... well, you were there, you know what you said. Anyway, the very next morning, I started taking the pills."
"I don't quite get how that's a compliment for me."
"You make me want to be a better man."

    --  Melvin and Carol

 

"How are you?"
"Don't ask. I'm tired of my own complaints. I need to get some new thoughts."
"Why? What are you thinking about now?"
"How to die, mostly."
"To think that in our little mix you're the good roommate."

    --  Carol and Simon